An Open Letter to the Rabbits in My Neighborhood

Dear Rabbits,

I know the indoor/outdoor cats in the neighborhood have gotten old and have allowed you to proliferate in larger than normal numbers this year, so let me give you a few survival tips.

1. If you squeeze past a barrier and find yourself in an enclosed space, turn around.

2. If that enclosed space has a whiff of dog pee, turn around faster.

3. If you see an actual dog on a leash in that area, and you don’t die right then, consider yourself lucky and leave.

4. If you see the dog again on a leash, please understand, he will not always be on a leash in the enclosed area. Leave immediately.

5. If you see the dog a third time on a leash, remember, this is not a permanent state. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. LEAVE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY.

6. If you’re still in the enclosed space after dinner. YOU ARE DEAD.

7. Pro-tip: When the dogs come to kill you, try and angle your head toward the basenji and not the miniature pincher. You’ll have a much quicker, much less painful death. The mini-pin’s mouth just isn’t big enough to kill you in one quick blow.

No love,

Me

Notice the leashes. This is not a permanent state.

#carnage #rabbits